You Know You're Living In A Kindergarchy When..

A colleague introduced me to the notion of a Kindergarchy. This is when the kids rule. A two year old can be very powerful. Terry said he’d put the DVD in the player, turned to his daughter and said, “Alright then?” and she barked back, ‘”Press play!” Terry said he felt like a human remote.
You know you’re in a kindergarchy when….
1. You’ve been driving for half an hour. There are no kids in the car. The Wiggles CD is playing anyway.
2. You’re driving. No kids again. You yell out, “Look at the big truck!”
3. The most intelligent person you speak to all day is yourself.
4. At a dinner party, all of your stories begin, “Emma did the funniest thing the other day…”
5. At a dinner party, you find yourself cutting up another guest’s food.
6. You’re wearing jewelry made of pasta.
7. If asked the time, you respond, “Now, the big hand’s on the three…”
8. When cutting a sandwhich into oblongs instead of triangles is a major catastophe.
9. When you think Thomas The Tank engine is the height of Ringo Starr’s career.
10. When it’s been a while since you’ve showered on your own.
11. The course of your day can be deeply affected by whose presenting Playschool.
12. Your only decent lipstick is used for colouring in.
13. You’re a big bloke and you’re enjoying the daily miniature tea parties.
14. When you know what’s on offer on TV at 5am
15 When you go to a café for morning tea and everyone else is having breakfast
16. When the art of choice is a framed finger painting.
17. When the song you can’t get out of your head is the the theme to Sponge Bob Squarepants… “who lives in a pineapple under the sea.”
18. When you defend SpongeBob Squarepants as decent viewing; “it’s really quite surreal and has a lot of absurdist humour…”
19. When you can form an opinion about the relative quality and merit of the Ice Age movies.
20. When you’re eating chicken nuggets at 5pm and that’s dinner.

This was compiled by listeners and texters to 702 ABC Sydney Afternoons. After hearing all this one suggested, “We need a Kinda Carta.”