8.09.09     If you would like to do business in Sydney, please answer the following questionnaire…

 

Have you got a criminal record?  Do any of your business partners? Do you know Graeme Richardson? Does your proposed property deal depend  on a future  ‘rezoning’ ? Is there a liquor licence involved? Do you own brothels? Sex shops? Are you close to rugby league players? Are you on the committee for a nearly defunct bowling club? Do you understand the term branch stacking? Are you friends with Eddie Obeid? Joe Tripodi? Eric Roozendaal?  Do you run with the Rebel Motorbike gang? If I wanted a high class hooker, could you get me one? Can you get into the Piano Room? Would the Ibrahims high five you when you did? Have you ever ordered a hit on anyone? Do you know the going rate? Are you an importer/exporter? Is the name by which you are known the name you were given at birth? Do you lease either a current model Mercedes/Audi/Porsche? Do you run with the Nomads? Do you tape your business meetings? How well do you know Jim Byrnes? Have you ever set fire to anything apart from a barbeque? Have you done time? Do you owe money to anyone who has? Have you borrowed money from someone who is not a bank? Do you regard bankruptcy as a part of normal business practice?

How well do you know Graham Richardson?

Has anything you’ve ever done resulted in a broad ranging State Parliament inquiry? Were you mentioned in the Wood Royal Commission into Police Corruption?  Do you have links to key Labor figures? Have you stood bail for anyone? Do you know Neville Wran? Do you regularly attend Labor Party fundraisers?  How long do you keep your tapes of your business meetings? Does assault figure in your business negotiations?

Do you have more than one business entity? Are any of them listed in the Cayman Islands? Have you paid tax recently?

Have you appeared at ICAC? Do you own a sports team? Would you like to? Have you had your tender approved by state government despite your complete lack of experience in the area? Are you a former bookmaker, stand over man, boxer, Fiji nightclub owner? Do you run with the Comancheros? Do you have Graham Richardson on speed dial? Have you acquired properties from people defaulting on loan payments? Were they devil worshippers?

Are you licenced for firearms? Have you been found guilty of possessing stolen or unlicenced firearms? Are any of your businesses linked to companies or businesses currently under suspicion? Would you say that’s just a coincidence? Is Graham Richardson godparent to any of your children? Did  he speak at your fiftieth? Would you say your main business skill is intimidation? Have you or any of your associates ever been described in the press using any or all of the words, ‘colourful’, ‘Sydney’, ‘Racing’, ‘Identity’?

 

If you answered yes to all of the above, then you are ready to join the exciting world of Sydney business. Whether it’s a league club expansion, a city block or two, or a former industrial site soon to be Sydney’s newest suburb, we know you’re the type that always does business in Sydney and knows how to cut through red tape with a brown bag of cash and deal with any opposition with a midnight phone call.

Let's Make A Deal!